Sea Legs

So I gave myself a chance to do better than normal and I wound up breaking past the point of no return into a fever dream of boring stew. We were walking down the beach and I didn't know where I was going but I kept putting one foot in front of the other then all of a sudden she was gone and I had no idea where she decided she'd be gone to but that was fine only she took my heart with her and also the beach and now I'm out at sea. And being at sea would be fantastic only I'm pathologically afraid of boats and I'd really like to tell the sailors to turn around and take me back to shore only the closest thing I've got to sailors are dolphins and they're more interested in swimming laps and trying to fuck each other to try and help someone adrift so I drifted. For decades I must've drifted until I stubbed my toe on a table and realized I wasn't at sea I was in a restaurant the whole time - or at least for a little while I thought I was at sea when I was really in a restaurant - which was fairly embarrassing because there was a gorgeous woman across from me who'd been waiting this whole time for me to calm down from my drifting episode and notice I was on land. And ever since then I haven't known what to do either, because she's been with me and I've been completely dry ever since but I have this irresponsible nagging fear that the next time I'm even close to a body of water she might try and dump me overboard, or jump in herself, or something. Since then we've moved to a desert, but every so often I'll see a mirage and think it's an oasis trying to sneak up on me.