Issues

I think you're an idiot.
I think you should shut the fuck up, how about that?
I think you don't want to listen to the truth.
I think you're trying to sabotage me.
I think you're being overly defensive for something you claim to be confident about.
I think you think you're a goddamn psychologist.
I think-
I still think you should just shut the fuck up!
Fine. Don't blame me when everything goes to hell. As usual.
... God damn it. Why are you always like this?
Because you're an idiot.
Fuck you.

I'm serious. You do this crap all the time. You convince yourself "oh man this is such a good idea" but then when things explode in your face, you're somehow surprised. 
Relax. It's just a homemade firework.
Like I said, EXPLODE. In your FACE.
You worry too much.
You worry nowhere near enough! 
What could go wrong?
That's what you said last time. Also, everything!
Actually it'd be pretty impossible for everything to go wrong at once.
God dammit...
If it explodes in his face, then it exploded, therefore it worked, therefore that didn't go wrong.
Oh. Sorry.
And if it didn't explode, then even though it didn't work, he still has his face, so that didn't go wrong either.
You both suck.
Therefore, it is not the case that it is possible for everything to go wrong at the same time.
I said I was sorry.
No you're not.
I'm done anyway.
Good.
Well I'm sorry for being logical about these things.
The thing is no one CARES.
Yeah you're kinda neurotic about it.
Says the figment of a personality in a guy's head that's always psychoanalyzing people.
Okay, fair... You really need to get a little less crazy, you know?
Oh what, so this is my fault?
Yes. Yes.
Oh suuure, 'cause I just LOVE having you twatrockets in my headspace.
Stop inventing words.
Fuuuuck.
Oh hey, haven't seen you in a while. How's it?
Eh, pretty good. Sandy and I just moved in to this new house down by Park Street-
Oo, nice.
No! There are NO cities streets whatever in this imaginationland-
Stop making up words.
Fuck you!
Something tells me that could be considered a bit of a faux pas...
Chiiill, guuy.
Yeah, seriously. You're way too high-strung about this.
Don't call me "guy". And I am not nearly high-strung ENOUGH about this!
I think being more high-strung would be counterproductive in this instance.
Need to mellow out? I know a guy-
For the last time, I don't smoke!
Alright, fine, that's cool. Anyway, I'm gonna take off, get some lunch.
Okay, see you around.
... I hate that guy.
Oh just because you don't have any friends you think I shouldn't be able to have anything either?
This ISN'T ABOUT YOU, and I have plenty of friends-
No you don't.
-I just can't stand that guy is all.
I find him refreshing, personally.
I don't care!
Well maybe if you'd care about yourself just a little more maybe you wouldn't be so out-of-whack.
I am PERFECTLY FINE.
He screamed at himself.
Well technically-
Don't.
Okay.
BURN IT BURN THE FUCKING WORLD
Shut up Randall Shut up Randall Shut up Randall
HAHA FIRE FIRE EEEeeeee-
... Okay, now THAT GUY has issues.
Agree. Agree.
Now that we're accepting our issues, do you think we can talk about my serious lack of-
No one's listening to you!
I was listening...
No one's listening to you, either!
Now that's just needlessly hurtful.
You know what? Fuck it! Fuck you! Fuck you all! I can't fucking take it anymore!
Wait what was that you just put in your mouth-