Tick

Goddammit, why's the damn lightswitch on again? Dammit woman you are KILLING THE EARTH. More importantly, I have to pay for all the damn electricity it uses. I flick it off. Then walk around the entire damn house and turn off every damn electric-sucking THING we own. Why do we even have all this damn hardware? Why's the hall light on, nobody's in here. Turn it off. Why's the TV on, ain't nobody watching the damn thing. Turn it off. Why's the kitchen light on, it's three-thirty, noone's makin' nothin'. Turn it off. ... I guess I better leave the fridge on... But why's the damn stovelight on? Dammit woman you don't need this much light! It's still light outside, the windows're still workin', and your eyes ain't THAT bad yet.
Oh What's all this ruckus? Dammit woman I will tell you what this ruckus is; it's you leavin' all the damn lights on again and again- don't give me that Oh but it's Energy-star non-sense. You know that's just a marketing ploy. No I do not think Every damn thing is a marketing ploy, but dammit woman who measures this- oh I KNOW your name isn't Woman but dammit woman- alright you know what FINE I'm going out for a smoke.
Dammitall. One o'these days I'm-a hide all the damn lightbulbs see who can't find a damn thing. No I don't care if that'll show'er, it'll be damn funny 'swhat. Oh don't YOU start on me now...