The Storm

"It was a dark and stormy night-"
"Like hell it was. I was THERE."
"Well, it was a little stormy."
"Yeah, maybe in our tent. Kev here ate like four bowls of chili-"
"Cheryl."
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it wasn't that dark, and it sure as hell wasn't stormy out-"
"Cheryl."
"-I mean it's something that's always bothered me about the phrase; 'it was a dark night'. Well no shit Sherlock, it was NIGHT ferchrissakes-"
"Cheryl!"
"Right, yeah. Well, someone's got to start talking and you're just sitting there twiddling your thumbs and-"
"SO ANYWAY it was nighttime."
"Yes, yes it was."
"I had gone to the bathroom-"
"And for a while there I thought you fell in or something. You were gone for what, an hour?"
"I think, but I was only on the toilet for about half that."
"Which is still a long-ass time. Or a long ass-time."
"... Dammit Cheryl."
"What?"
"Nevermind..."
"Whaat? What did I say?"
"You know what? Screw this. I don't need this."
"Where you going?"
"Out!"
"Don't fall in a toilet again!"
"Go to hell!"